Tonight,about light

About lies you told and heard
About right decisions and wrong times,

About outright NOs and painful YESs

About stolen pens and looted memories

About chits in the class and silence in the walks,

About newspapers and red inks.

Tonight, it’s about wars. And cries.

Source : MSNBC.com

About preaching mom not to talk like that,

About feeling guilty for talking like that,

About stained pants and washed agony,

About withered walls and bright pictures.

About compass boxes and kitchen sets

And monsters in clouds, and a white dress.

Tonight, it’s about yesterday. And beyond.

Source : Pinterest

About teary blurs and clear paths,

About stubborn keyboards and blocked contacts,

About rains and parched hearts

About drafts in the mail and updated Instagram.

And earrings, and short hair and long kurtis

About everything out of league.

Tonight, it’s about me. And stars.

Source of featured image : Pinterest

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Madam Attitude

And why are you always so cynical and headstrong and snobbish about almost everything?”

Because I am a bigtime idealist. I am auto-tuned to ideas of perfection. By that I don’t mean I am prim and proper and excel at everything. What I do, however, is to ensure 100% efforts. Whether in a project or a friendship or any relation whether it is with your mother or father or even the guy sitting next to you. I am a person of words who’d take them as they are and hence loud tones and rude replies irk me to levels much much more than they do to other people. I have this seemingly perfect idea of conversations where we respect others’ words and we love like how love should be. Now people call me judgemental but here’s the thing. Every small gesture is part of the bigger picture for me. So at every sentence and every act, I am picturizing the rationale behind that.  And the deductions are mostly saddening”


Not the most positive or comprehensible thing to hear, but don’t you think this attitude would make you a rather unhappy person?

Oh of course. By all means, I am unhappy. And even there I try to find the larger picture. Like whether it is the color of my walls or arrangement of the furniture or the series I am watching or the people I’m avoiding or things I’m thinking that are making me unhappy. But then, I realize that I fight, argue at petty things and get irked by people only because I know the possibilities of better situations. So I kind of rebel for love. I create havoc, for peace. That’s weird. Even I don’t get it.”



Well,do you even have friends?”

Friends of all kinds. But if your context of asking this was based on the insane replies above, then I would say, I have ONE friend. Who is my world. Not because I share all this with him,but because I don’t feel any of this with him. To him, I am the little sister whom he keeps scolding for not taking enough care of herself only by looking at my skin. To me, he is the brother with whom, I know I have nothing to worry about. We rarely meet. But when we do, he ensures it’s a Thursday so he can force me into eating Chicken. And in that moment, I am the most pampered kid ever. I think of getting him gifts because he deserves everything in the world. But then, I have not found anything precious enough. For him,watching me eat to my heart’s content is enough. I am already feeling happy.”


“You know not many people can handle you,right?”

“I know. I don’t have many people. I manage being a wreck.”

To the 15-year old girl

Hey girl,
You look amazing in that dress and them heels. When I was 15,I was wearing polo t-shirts,jeans and ponytail to everywhere. Not that I had many ‘everywhere’s to go. You are going to the clubs and parties. I received a couple of your invites on facebook. I can only imagine how much fun those would be. I just want to ask you,isn’t 15 a bit too early for the clubs? Why do want to see drunk people grooving away and practising infidelty because it’s “cool”,when you should watch Gumrah and know how they suffer? No,I am not judging you. No,I am not jealous since I never got to do what you do. I am actually concerned.

   

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I have been teaching you and many 15 year olds like you for past 2 years to bear my expenses. I see what you do. You take the pain of getting waxed at this age. Doesn’t it hurt? Why do you ‘have to’ do it? Because everyone else is doing it? Because you are otherwise weird? Because you want to impress that guy? You’ve got lovely young skin. I saw you getting facial at a parlour. I see you straightening your hair for school. You,by all means have all the rights to look pretty. But guess what,at your age,you are beautiful and can do without adulteration. Your natural skin is what women in 20s and 30s are dying to have. What is this pressure you’ve taken upon yourself? You’ll have all the time to do it. Right now is the time to beautify your mind and deck up your future. Why don’t you watch career-oriented videos instead of makeup tutorials?
    

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Source-parentsociety

I once asked you about your life goals. You said-“I wanna be an awesome mother to my kids”. I smiled. That’s a wonderful dream. Here at 20,I don’t get to hear that from girls my age or older. So kudos to you . But why don’t you have a goal to achieve for yourself before you become mommy? You and your “boyfriend” both take tuitions from me. You took Science because he did,so you can be together. But last year you said you want to study history,didn’t you? You stopped wearing black because he told you he didn’t like. Why don’t you become YOU before being his girlfriend? You put status  like “You are my life” ” You are my king”, “You are my reason of smiling” and then you put “I’m broken”, “I hate love”. The fact is you might just have no idea about life or love or both. You need oxygen survival. No guy. Never a guy.

      

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No. Don't dream this. Dream to earn it.

I am not judging you again,but what’s the need to get physical at this age? Why don’t you maintain a healthy relationship and make a career and see if you still want to stay with that guy who told you bright colors don’t suit you? Why do you ‘have to’ send him nude pictures or get a tattoo done? Why shouldn’t you want to be a woman of substance whose qualities make her DESIRABLE? What’s this craze about being ‘ACCEPTABLE’?

     

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You needn't feel this at 15

Your FB posts,pictures and whatsapp statuses irritate me first but then they worry me. I know I am sounding preachy but you are way too young for all that you do. I know you’ll learn the game fast and soon. But for that,you need to value yourself and create yourself before mingling in the ‘hep culture’. I am saying because nobody told me. I am there if you need a sister or an agony aunt.

Build your bed of sterner stuff,
Roses may follow.

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