For the love of love

I love love. Love in any form. And I believe that the easiest magic to create and find is love. Watch your mother smile,just goddamn give that brother a glass of water,call your best friend(ok give a missed call) and ask him if he’s fine and end up talking about a silly crush you had few years ago,watch the sky build up clouds,listen to kids talking among themselves when one thinks he can explain the intricacies of terrorism to the other and goes about describing devils and angels..There’s love everywhere. At times I have found love when I have been scolded for being lazy and rather than reverting back I have foolishly smiled at all the wonderfully cuss woven words thrown at me. I don’t know why but if there’s one thing I really wish to accumulate and spend throughout my life,it just has to be love.

I have been told that I go overboard with that and I end up messing things. To which I have no answer. Honestly I have messed up only once in life and that remains the most glorious mess I could ever imagine to exist in my life. Here’s the quirk-The cause and cure of that mess was love yet again. Thankfully,it is all sorted now. All the other times,I do not want to call them messy. I surely have lost people. Some may even have grudges against me(though I don’t hold any). I have given crazy amount of love and importance to people who do not even reply properly if I text now. But somehow that fails to hold me back. I still text them few days later to ask if they’re fine. There was a time when I texted out of love and in return I got cold,harsh,demeaning replies of a headstrong narcissist. That couldn’t stop me from letting him know that I still think of him(although I mended my ways). At times I want to question myself,as in, “Hello Archi,woman do you have any form of self value?”. But isn’t it a life too short for talking to ourselves only and not letting ourselves loose to love?

However,yesterday as I talked to a friend( whom I valued way too much at a time and he just didn’t get it so he had mastered the art of being rude) I realized that something is flawed in the whole concept of love these days. Here we are talking about the Man-Woman love. The romantic and everlasting kind of love. So as my friend and I kept talking,I suddenly began to feel negated. I asked him about his love life and he told me he’s looking for someone of his caste. I pointed out that for someone who has had impressive education and is doing well,this is a little baffling search. So I told him that ultimately compatibility matters. To which he said that compatibility can be built with time but if while dating he actually wants to take things forward,being of same caste would help. Rather disturbed,I wished him luck and good night. (what else could i say anyway).

But I couldn’t really sleep. Something was not right in how he was seeking love. He deserves love;we all deserve love. Why does then his quest seem inappropriate. Meanwhile,I was on Instagram planning to upload a selfie with a friend. That it when it clicked me what was wrong. The filters. Not on my selfie but on love. He had put filters while seeking love. Filter of caste.

And as the night progressed,it made sense. These days mostly people find companions through these filters. Tinder,Shaadi.com..they provide a whole array of filters-religion,caste,education,skin color,height,job preference and probably sexual preferences as well(kinky or no kinky ,I guess). So what they ultimately get is a duly processed partner. Love follows. Or probably it doesn’t but at least people are satisfied.
So when exactly falling in love happens?

Are we even letting love happen? Are we even allowing attraction to develop? Even before the crush happens,we tell ourselves that he’s too rich,or tall or not my type etc etc. Relations look like an instagram picture to me now. Born of filters. Where is the love that happens organically?

And here I recall a wonderful line. When I told a wise elder that-“I felt I was in love when I was 15-16,isn’t that stupid?”. To which he replied-“प्यार तो उसी उमर में होता है,उसके आगे सब गणित है”, which means, “True love actually happens in that age only. What happens later is calculated Mathematics”.

Signing off with truckloads of organic love,

Archita

Instagram filters on that note