For the love of love

I love love. Love in any form. And I believe that the easiest magic to create and find is love. Watch your mother smile,just goddamn give that brother a glass of water,call your best friend(ok give a missed call) and ask him if he’s fine and end up talking about a silly crush you had few years ago,watch the sky build up clouds,listen to kids talking among themselves when one thinks he can explain the intricacies of terrorism to the other and goes about describing devils and angels..There’s love everywhere. At times I have found love when I have been scolded for being lazy and rather than reverting back I have foolishly smiled at all the wonderfully cuss woven words thrown at me. I don’t know why but if there’s one thing I really wish to accumulate and spend throughout my life,it just has to be love.

I have been told that I go overboard with that and I end up messing things. To which I have no answer. Honestly I have messed up only once in life and that remains the most glorious mess I could ever imagine to exist in my life. Here’s the quirk-The cause and cure of that mess was love yet again. Thankfully,it is all sorted now. All the other times,I do not want to call them messy. I surely have lost people. Some may even have grudges against me(though I don’t hold any). I have given crazy amount of love and importance to people who do not even reply properly if I text now. But somehow that fails to hold me back. I still text them few days later to ask if they’re fine. There was a time when I texted out of love and in return I got cold,harsh,demeaning replies of a headstrong narcissist. That couldn’t stop me from letting him know that I still think of him(although I mended my ways). At times I want to question myself,as in, “Hello Archi,woman do you have any form of self value?”. But isn’t it a life too short for talking to ourselves only and not letting ourselves loose to love?

However,yesterday as I talked to a friend( whom I valued way too much at a time and he just didn’t get it so he had mastered the art of being rude) I realized that something is flawed in the whole concept of love these days. Here we are talking about the Man-Woman love. The romantic and everlasting kind of love. So as my friend and I kept talking,I suddenly began to feel negated. I asked him about his love life and he told me he’s looking for someone of his caste. I pointed out that for someone who has had impressive education and is doing well,this is a little baffling search. So I told him that ultimately compatibility matters. To which he said that compatibility can be built with time but if while dating he actually wants to take things forward,being of same caste would help. Rather disturbed,I wished him luck and good night. (what else could i say anyway).

image

But I couldn’t really sleep. Something was not right in how he was seeking love. He deserves love;we all deserve love. Why does then his quest seem inappropriate. Meanwhile,I was on Instagram planning to upload a selfie with a friend. That it when it clicked me what was wrong. The filters. Not on my selfie but on love. He had put filters while seeking love. Filter of caste.

And as the night progressed,it made sense. These days mostly people find companions through these filters. Tinder,Shaadi.com..they provide a whole array of filters-religion,caste,education,skin color,height,job preference and probably sexual preferences as well(kinky or no kinky ,I guess). So what they ultimately get is a duly processed partner. Love follows. Or probably it doesn’t but at least people are satisfied.
So when exactly falling in love happens?

Are we even letting love happen? Are we even allowing attraction to develop? Even before the crush happens,we tell ourselves that he’s too rich,or tall or not my type etc etc. Relations look like an instagram picture to me now. Born of filters. Where is the love that happens organically?

And here I recall a wonderful line. When I told a wise elder that-“I felt I was in love when I was 15-16,isn’t that stupid?”. To which he replied-“प्यार तो उसी उमर में होता है,उसके आगे सब गणित है”, which means, “True love actually happens in that age only. What happens later is calculated Mathematics”.

Signing off with truckloads of organic love,

Archita

image

Instagram filters on that note

Advertisements

12 comments

  1. bloggeray · July 8, 2016

    Well hello Archi. Much as I’d like to say otherwise, the fact is that this is what it always has been in society, at least Indian society. Filters of caste are the most widely applied ones to the variables of relationships because we want to satisfy the demands of our kith and kin too while choosing a life partner for ourselves. The same people who have no qualms even in getting a partner from another religion as long as it’s only a bf-gf thing, tend to develop cold feet when it comes to the holy grail of marriage.

    Still, I do think the organic love you talk about is not only alive, but thriving as well. Just go to any college and you’ll get plenty of reassuring examples. 😉
    Great post, nevertheless. Happy blogging. 🙂
    Oh, and speaking on the subject of love and marriage, you can check two of my posts :
    Love marriage and arranged marriage in the Indian context,

    Marriage and Divorce in Indian society.

    Liked by 2 people

    • The Anaari Drum · July 8, 2016

      Well,I think we will bond really well in case we ever collide 😛 Thank you for dropping by and giving your valuable comment. While I completely agree with both your points,what worries me is the lack of connectivity between the two-college level bf-gf doesnt apply filters and that changes for next step when it comes to marriage. This is the very ground where loves loses it. Forget getting rejection from the kin,they don’t even tell the family that they’ve seeing someone. Isn’t that unfair and inorganic?

      And for sure I’m gonna read your posts. Thank you once again. 😀

      Liked by 2 people

      • bloggeray · July 8, 2016

        In all my years here on this planet, and especially since arriving on that hallowed stage called college, I’ve seen umpteen cases where couples who swear by their undying love for each other go their separate ways after graduation, all the *kasme-vaade* be damned. And more often than not, it is by mutual consent and without informing either set of parents. So you see, it is distinctly unfair and inorganic. But it is *the* reality, take it or leave it.
        Should this change to a better arrangement? Of course. Would it? Now that’s debatable. My money would be against any change, at least in the next 15-20 years. After all, we Indians are world leaders in hypocrisy.
        Amen to that opinion about our bonding. 😀
        You’re welcome to read and enjoy my posts. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • The Anaari Drum · July 8, 2016

        Why do you write so well,so magnetic that I don’t even want to counter it(not that there is anything to counter). !! It is *the* reality and it makes us sad and hence we rant about it 😀 But I am so happy we do. Also,I need to talk to you for some suggestions. Please let me know how!

        Liked by 2 people

      • bloggeray · July 8, 2016

        To be honest, I don’t think my writing is of any high literary level. Sacchi!
        Still, I won’t let your kind words of appreciation go unnoticed. That is very generous of you. Thanks a lot.

        I think ranting/discussing what we’re passionate about is the hallmark of a mature society, don’t you think so? So it is good that we do (now I looked up to see your comment and saw that that’s *exactly* what you said. Stupid self-absorbed me. 😀 ).

        I’d request you to check my about page. Contains details of my social media and mail accounts. Shoot me a mail and we can take it from there. Bon Voyage!

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Prashant · July 8, 2016

    waiting for such love without any calculations……
    anyway you know I love you 😀 :p

    Liked by 1 person

  3. vagabongshy · July 8, 2016

    The last two lines just nailed it! Touche, love is all about filters now.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. TylerLearnsToWrite · July 28, 2016

    Love Filters/Love Mathematics.. Sad but I couldn’t stop laughing 😀

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s